The Crow's Dream

Philosophy, geekery, and the meaning if life, and what I read this week…


with one comment

My brand of Buddhism is personal. I do not practice in a meditation center nor call myself a Buddhist often. I do not feel the need to have “faith in Buddha” and couldn’t care less is Gutama was a real person or a metaphor for peace of mind. I am not only willing, but actually happy to dismiss unscientific Buddhist ideas. My goal in life has very little to do with enlightenment, and more with service and enjoyment. I find that zen Buddhist ways of looking at the world have, very slowly, but very decidedly, helped me to break away from injurious emotions. I study zen as much as I can. I enjoy Brad Warner, Natalie Goldberg, and the recordings from the San Francisco Zen Center. Some day, I might get around to reading Zen and the Brain, buy in the mean time I’m happy with what I’m learning.

The four noble truths ring true in my biology, and so does the eightfold path. We are all mildly hysterical beings who could use some love and help. 

I know that zazen would really help, but I also know how to honor where I’m at. I do not meditate a lot, and I do not feel guilty about it. Instead, I try to write and to walk every day. I pay attention to my breath. I often stop my activity for a few seconds to breathe in and to enjoy being alive. I don’t drink often, but not because I feel it is wrong, I simply do not enjoy the consequences. If I ever wear prayer beads, it is because I enjoy them, not because they mean anything. I am not serious enough to wear robes, though I respect those who do it out of conviction and in service. I don’t like to associate myself with self important monks. I think wearing robes may sometimes be a form of mid life rebellion, and I think it is usually a sad one at that. My love of Japanese culture is more aesthetic and geeky than spiritual. I love Buddha figurines as much as I love my chicken piggy bank. I love people much more than both.

I hope that my mind will continue to grow, and that as long as I am patient and true, and continue to put the right effort in the right things my life will be okay–not safe or bland, but worthwile. I know that the symbols of religion are just what they are, and that practice is everything and everywhere, and it has little to do with what you call yourself. I take refuge in knowing that people can be satisfied, and loving. My life is about finding both states of mind as I exist. Grapefruits are amazing. That is why I call myself, some times, a Buddhist.


Written by Hector

December 17, 2008 at 9:47 am

One Response

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Your brand of buddhism sounds very appealing.

    My brand of buddhism is very different.

    Sometimes I think I should really explore something simpler. Something closer to your brand of buddhism. But I’ve gone quite far down my path now and I would be giving up a lot that I find truly liberating, truly meaningful.

    So all I can do now when this feeling happens is sit back and admire other people’s buddhist paths, knowing that they will never be mine.


    January 14, 2009 at 7:05 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: